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Wednesday, 21 October 2009

FIFA admits it dropped the ball, promises to find loophole to stop Greece or Ukraine being at World Cup

FIFA are set to consult the Court for Arbitration in Sport to try and find a way to prevent the winner of the Greece v Ukraine World Cup 2010 qualification play-off spoiling next summer’s showpiece event.

The football world still hasn’t forgiven Greece for ruining Euro 2004 by winning the tournament with just three shots on goal.

Ukraine reached the quarter-finals of the phenomenally depressing 2006 World Cup but the memory of their insultingly dull second-round win over Switzerland lingers and has all but destroyed Ukraine’s fragile tourism industry and made the former Soviets targets for acts of aggression all over the world.

But after both teams plodded their way to second place in World Cup 2010 qualification, they were drawn together in a play-off with one side claiming a spot in South Africa.

After France and the Republic of Ireland were drawn together, FIFA chief Sepp Blatter appeared restless and when Ukraine were paired with Greece he was heard to mutter: “Ah shit!”

Now it has been revealed that FIFA are desperately searching for a way to prevent either of the shitty countries contesting 0-0 draws with Japan at the World Cup.

“I hold my hands up – we should’ve done more to prevent this,” a FIFA spokesman admitted.

“We’re trying to come up with something, maybe we could start some kind of conflict in those regions? It’d be a shame if people had to die to prevent Greece or Ukraine taking one of the 32 places at the World Cup, but I can assure football fans that FIFA will do what it takes.”

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