Grant brought in to 'scare bejesus out of doomed Hart'

Struggling Portsmouth have confirmed that they have brought in former Chelsea manager Avram Grant to “stare at Paul Hart during the month or so leading up to his inevitable dismissal.’

Portsmouth have surprisingly suffered a poor start to the season after making the bold decision to sell off all but three of their players in the summer.

A desperate Hart finally secured his first three points of the campaign last weekend but that achievement hasn’t been enough to prevent the arrival of permanently glum toad-like Israeli coach Avram Grant.

Grant arrives at Fratton Park with the meaningless title of director of football, but Pompey chief executive Peter Storrie has clarified that the new man’s appointment is the equivalent of the infamous vote of confidence.

“We have absolute belief in Paul Hart’s ability to lead the ragbag assortment of nearly-men and malcontents to survival in the most demanding league in the world,” he insisted.

“But we just felt that Hart would benefit from living in the imposing shadow of his potential replacement. Nothing helps an under-fire figure do his job to the best of his ability more than knowing he can be replaced at any second.”

The club also confirmed that Grant will be observing all training sessions and team-talks as well as living in Hart’s spare bedroom and joining him on Hart family outings.

Meanwhile, Portsmouth’s new owner Ali Al-Faraj has buoyed fans with the promise of an “indiscriminate deluge of cash to allow the management to pay over the odds for players like Kevin Nolan.”