EXTRAVAGANT NONSENSE

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Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Portsmouth Season Preview: Lack of footballers may prove a problem

With 11 days remaining until the Premier League kick-off, Fratton Park is a hive of activity as ground staff prepare for the mouth-watering 2009-10 curtain-raiser against Fulham. Sadly, however, Portsmouth's season could be ruined by the absence of any qualified footballers.

Still awaiting a faceless Arab backer, Pompey were forced to hold an 'Everything Must Go' sale this summer. Despite pocketing huge sums for all-mouth-no-trousers England nearlyman Glen Johnson and goal-scoring fountain pen Peter Crouch, the only arrivals were Aaron Makoena and Steve Finnan.

While the club have banned the word 'crisis', dour manager Paul Hart's face was nearly 80 per cent wrinkles as he found a squad of three men waiting for him at his first pre-season training session.

"It wasn't exactly what I had in mind," Hart admitted. "But the new lads had a decent game of headers and volleys with David (James). They seemed to get on pretty well before David (James) realised he was late for his hair appointment.

"Of course I'd welcome some new recruits, but there's no problem finding a parking space these days. And besides everybody knows it's harder to play against nine men, so just imagine how tough we'll be with three."

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