Leicester manager Nigel Pearson has broken the world record for the most boring statement ever given to journalists, it was confirmed today. Experts emerged from a 10-hour emergency analysis of Pearson's remarks on possible signing Leroy Lita to publish their verdict this morning. The panel unanimously agreed that the comments 'did not contain a single word which was not a cliche' and were 'staggeringly dull'.
Speaking to BBC Radio Leicester about the Foxes' pursuit of big-headed talent Lita, Pearson said: 'We will see what happens. I know there's a lot of speculation about him [Lita] but I wouldn't like to make any comment at the moment. If we can improve we will but at the moment I can't really elaborate on that. I won't bring players in for the sake of bringing players in.'
Within minutes, the statement had been referred to the panel, who scanned it extensively to see if a single meaningful word could be found in it. When their search was unsuccessful, the scientists concluded that Pearson had 'set a new bar for managers talking pointless crap'. Pearson's record breaks that set in 2007 by Bryan Robson, who said after his Sheffield United side had drawn with Plymouth: 'we've started the game well and they've come back into it and in the end I think a point each is about right.'
Leicester chairman Milan Mandaric said he was 'delighted' Pearson - who won promotion at the first attempt after taking over from certified lunatic Ian Holloway - was continuing to put the Midlands club back on the map, and there is' no chance of him being sacked for five or six weeks at least.'