EXTRAVAGANT NONSENSE

The news branch of the Back of the Net wiki.

Monday 29 June 2009

Allardyce left scratching oversized head at Ruud snub

Chewing-gum addicted, no-nonsense manager Sam Allardyce admits he is hurt that former Manchester United star and world-class goal machine Ruud Van Nistelrooy has laughed off links with drab Premier League makeweights Blackburn Rovers.

Having lost their only two interesting players in Roque Santa Cruz and Matt Derbyshire, Rovers are desperate to bring in an unwitting big name before the start of next season to ensure that somebody turns up to watch their uninspiring string of lower mid-table contests.

Allardyce set his heart on Dutch international Van Nistelrooy, who is on the brink of leaving Real Madrid, but it seems the horse-faced marksman isn't keen on becoming the first man to trade the Bernabeu for Blackburn.

Interviewed on Dutch TV last night, Van Nistelrooy's agent Rodger Linse lapsed into hysterical laughter when told about interest from Blackburn. With tears streaming down his face, Linse was helped off the set of RTL Nederland's prime-time show: 'Hey Let's Talk About Football, Why Not Guys?' occasionally spluttering "Blackburn? That's a classic."

Nonetheless, ex-Newcastle United failure Allardyce, whose head is roughly the same size as a Mini Cooper, hasn't given up on luring his man despite admitting it 'may be tough' to persuade Van Nistelrooy to accept a 95 percent pay cut. 

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