Universal embarrassment as Tuncay grossly overestimates ability

There were red faces all round this morning when Middlesbrough man Şanlı Tuncay restated his desire to play for Liverpool.

The curly-haired 27-year-old was the best of a bad bunch for Boro last season and claimed earlier in the month that he had been contacted by cash-strapped giants Liverpool.

However, Pool officials later revealed that they had no plans to snap up Tuncay and indeed "weren't even sure which one he was," although they confirmed they had "heard he was good on Football Manager."

Nonetheless, the snub doesn't seem to have stopped the fairly good Turk from dreaming of an Anfield switch and he again stated in an interview this morning that he was "really looking forward to following in the footsteps of Mark Gonzalez, Jan Kromkamp and Antonio Nunez." 

Tuncay then appeared to field a phone call, which he claimed was from Rafa Benitez, but it soon became clear that his mobile was switched off.

There was an awkward silence before one of Tuncay's advisors was heard whispering "Hartlepool" to the former Fenerbahçe man's ear and he left the room red faced.

Rafa Benitez has delayed any transfer decisions until he has prepared his paranoid rants for the 2009-10 campaign and any spending will depend on the success of a garage sale by oafish owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett.