EXTRAVAGANT NONSENSE

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Saturday 25 July 2009

Pre-Season Friendlies: Newcastle Find Positives After 6-1 Defeat, Man City Lose To Indie Band


Newcastle caretaker manager Chris Hughton was upbeat this evening after his side suffered a 6-1 defeat to League One side Leyton Orient, claiming that the margin of defeat 'could have been more like three or four if we'd had a bit of luck', and pointing out that 'other than the thrashing by a mid-table third-tier side, the trip to London was a success', after his squad managed to get on the coach back home without anyone getting lost. Meanwhile in South Africa, Manchester City continued to struggle to justify their £200-billion summer spending spree, as they went down 1-0 to Kaiser Chiefs, previously only known for their radio-friendly guitar pop.

Hughton's Newcastle, who have endured a torrid summer, year, decade and recent history, will be the subject of renewed mockery after their mauling at Brisbane Road, but the temporary boss - now into his fifth year in charge as the club continues to flounder in administrative chaos - insisted that they would take 'a lot of positives' from their latest indignity. 'For a start, we got a goal,' said Hughton, 'which would have been enough to win the game, had we not conceded a half-dozen. Then there was the good work done by all the backroom staff to arrange the fixture and decide on the kick-off time and all that, which went smoothly. Also, I thought the lads looked very neat in their kits. And Habib [Beye] won £5 on a fruit machine in the services on the way down.'

'So all in all we'll be approaching the new season with confidence.'

In Pretoria, Mark Hughes was disappointed to see his expensive side lose to the Kaiser Chiefs, who fielded only five players. 'We should have made better use of the space,' lamented the Welshman, who said his players 'allowed the Chiefs to dictate the pace, which was moderate to fast, with three chords'. He admitted City's defence had had trouble keeping Chiefs frontman Ricky Wilson quiet. 'He just kept coming out with pithy observations about society, in a distinctive, slightly grating northern drawl. If he keeps doing that, he's going to cause a lot of trouble this season.'

1 comment:

  1. Just as we ran out of piss taking comments about Newcastle, they give us more ammo. How low can they sink. Only the end of the coming season will tell.

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