The bloated Spanish superpower have embarked on a sickening spending frenzy this summer, pouncing for Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo to bolster a squad already boasting such talents as Iker Casillas, Raul and Jerzy Dudek.
And greedy President Florentino Perez still doesn't seem to be satisfied, outlining a plan to sign 'a player every minute' for the next two weeks and to 'maybe one day buy a defender.'
But one new face for next season that Perez didn't bargain on is university student Kamran Asif.
The lucky 26-year-old was posing for photos during a stadium tour when club officials shepherded him into the offices to pen a lucrative four-year deal.
"We thought he was a new signing because he was doing that thing with the scarf," spokesman Luis Villarejo explained.
"At the moment nobody knows who anyone else is to be honest, so if we see any adult male below the age of 40 it's safest to presume we've just paid £10m plus for him."
Asif released a brief statement declaring that: 'It's a dream come true to play for Real. It is a great challenge and I will give 100 percent for this club and the fans.'
Meanwhile, soulless President Perez has spoken of his desire to set up a European Super League to ensure that the continent's giants don't have to worry about failure to qualify for the Champions League.
Perez has also called for the results of every game in the coming season to be agreed in July with the richer team always defeating the poorer.