EXTRAVAGANT NONSENSE

The news branch of the Back of the Net wiki.

Thursday 18 June 2009

North Korea's World Cup qualification delays nuclear apocalypse

Crazed North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il has declared that he will postpone a 'merciless attack' on the US west coast until after his nation are eliminated from the 2010 World Cup.

Barrack Obama condemned North Korea's nuclear programme last week, prompting despotic Korean leader Kim Jong-Il to threaten a 'thousandfold strike' on the USA.

But Kim Jong-Il's mood seems to have improved after North Korea qualified for the World Cup for the first time since 1966 with a 0-0 draw against Saudi Arabia last night and his thirst for nuclear devastation appears to have waned.

"Don't get me wrong I really do want to raze the western world to the ground, but I'm still just a normal bloke who loves football," the tyrant stated via North Korean news agency KCNA.

"It'd be silly to do this whole nuclear holocaust thing when we've finally got into a World Cup. 

"I want to see if we can maybe get a draw against Mexico or Serbia. The only red button I'll be reaching for next summer will be on the TV remote!

"I will get round to the World War III thing though, promise," he concluded.

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